Why men remarry

And while women still bear the bulk of the home care duties, once liberated, they may feel disinclined to enter into another legally binding agreement to look after somebody else. However, the Pew analysis seems to suggest that the guys are being the shrewder partners, at least financially. Of course, it may not be that the spouses are more financially stable because they are married.

It might be that more financially stable people are in a better position to attract partners, build sturdy relationships and get married. Slightly less than a quarter of all people who are married in the U. In the same half century, marriage has fallen quite markedly out of favor among the young. But so far, the majority of people who have tried it are willing to give it another go.

Contact us at letters time. Many had been treated cruelly by women. If you signal your own interest, you may find a nice guy who would love to settle down.

Only after being convinced you like him will he be able to summon the courage to ask you for a date. If you can help a man overcome these feelings, you may find a real diamond in the rough. One thing impressed me: The men who were not married were just as nice, just as intelligent, just as hardworking as the men who were. There is a possible drawback to dating a man aged 40 or older. Many men at that age begin to look at women and marriage as a poor financial investment.

Today, many of the women whom these men think are after their money earn far more than they do. Such men are hardly ever going to be the marrying kind. All couples need to discuss money, especially when either partner has assets and responsibilities. This, of course, affects women as well. We found that many single men and women in their late thirties and forties were products of divorce.

The difference between older children of divorce and other confirmed bachelors is their reason for not being married. Older unmarried men who are products of divorce com-plain about marriage itself.

They believe in living together, because in their minds, once people marry, the romance ends. If you talk with them about marriage, they tend to be very open about what they believe. Often the women had to drag them to the altar.

None of this is to suggest that if you meet a man whose parents were divorced, you should immediately cross him off your list. Another crucial factor that influences the chances of a couple marrying is socioeconomic mix. Date men who will fit in with your friends and business associates. Opposites may attract, but men and women from similar backgrounds marry. So bear in mind that a man is much more likely to marry you if he is from the same socioeconomic background as you are.

Other factors that contribute to the likelihood of a relationship leading to marriage are religious beliefs and political persuasion. Each of these has a relative value. Couples coming out of marriage license bureaus confirmed these findings. A number of them told us that before they met their intended, they had had a serious relationship in which religious differences caused one party to break it off.

Your chances of marrying him are much greater than your chances of marrying the other man. The importance of belief systems cannot be underestimated, and this is also demonstrated in political areas.

Of course, there are exceptions. Bush for the presidency. In the focus group we put together to investigate political alignments in marriage, we discovered that many married couples were politically divided. We know more women vote Democratic than men, and more men vote Republican than women. Differences of opinions on core values such as abortion, capital punishment, or even disciplining children can divide a couple.

Think it over. People with similar beliefs and values tend to have similar outlooks on life and are usually more compatible. Men who live at home with their parents are less likely to marry than men who have their own places.

This is more significant in some communities than in others. Nevertheless, a man who lives alone is more likely to marry than one who lives with his parents. We also discovered that men who have never lived away from home are less likely to marry than men who have. Another important question a woman should ask a man before getting serious is whether any of his male friends have married in the last year or so.

More than 60 percent of the men we questioned coming out of marriage license bureaus told us they had a friend who had married within the last year.

After we asked men in singles bars if any of their friends had recently married, and if they themselves were considering getting married, we saw a reason for this correlation. Seeing their friends marrying had clearly caused a change in their thinking. Those who said none of their male friends was married were two to three times as likely to tell our researchers they were not ready to marry.

Of those who had seen even a few male friends get married recently, a majority said if they met the right woman, they might think seriously about getting married. A follow-the-leader factor can also be seen in families. Single men who had unmarried older siblings-particularly if the siblings were still living at home and past the prime marrying age-were less likely to find a spouse than men whose older siblings were married, or those men who had no older siblings.

Men usually will tell you what they think. To dramatically increase your chances of marrying you must seek out and date the marrying kind. Published bt Time-Warner Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt can be used without permission of the publisher. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.

Share this —. Women pick someone older. Reddit Pocket Flipboard Email. Jones went way younger for his third wife. Getty Images When people first marry, they tend to pick someone pretty close to their age.

Source: Pew Research Center 15 percent of men marry someone six or more years younger than them for their first marriages, but that's only true of 3 percent of women.

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